Some days, I feel like I’m wading my way through steaming piles of manure.
Is it my face? My naive look? My willingness to try to see the good in the terrible? How is it possible for someone who looks like a calm, kind and reasonable person to look me in the eyes and tell me something they know is complete and utter shite?
I know how it’s possible and I can’t act like I don’t BS people myself but lately, I feel people are trying to try me (yes, I said it). haha
In the adulting world, people lie without giving it a second thought. They lie about age, salary, the rules, work, who they are, etc. It can be difficult to know what really is truth. Because of this known fact, I find myself overcompensating and analyzing every face, word, tone and body movement to get to the meat of what someone is really telling me.
Does this work? Meh.
There are times when I meet people who aren’t telling me BS and are actually doing them, that’s fine. I welcome that BUT with the amount of people who do lie to me, I sometimes confuse those honest truth tellers with those shady people trying to get one up on me.
I wish I could easily decipher what’s going on. Like, there should be a little alarm that goes off and tells me “Alert, alert, liar approaching. They are spinning a work of fiction, a motion picture, right in front of you.” There is some sort of alarm. I think that’s intuition (relating back to my old post about gut instinct) but then sometimes, I think “No, they aren’t lying to me. What reason could they have?” Half the time I’m right and the person is truly good and honest and simple and then other times, SH*T.
I wish sh*t didn’t exist but I guess that’s what makes the world go round?
This might be an American thing. Maybe in other cultures, people are brutal. They don’t tiptoe around a subject, just call things as they see them. I may or may not like this approach.
Why I wouldn’t like this – if it’s negative of course, they go at you with what seems like a bat. Beating you down with hard facts and harsh truths. If it’s positive, then no guessing games need to be played and your mind is saved from the workout it’s often put through when thinking “what do you really mean?”
I want to remain myself though. I like trying to find the best in someone and thinking that that liar is someone’s child so I shouldn’t be so cold. But I know killers are someone’s child too (not that liars and killers are in the same league) so maybe I am a bit naive? Or maybe I haven’t truly felt that earth shattering burn whip me into a volcano, leaving me with a feeling of sheer pain and ruin? I could have only experienced baby burns that heal and don’t leave wounds deep enough for me to realize the lies of today. But no, that isn’t true. I’ve been burned. Not volcano burned but I do have tiny aches and pains that flair up as a result of a past liar.
So shite. Yes, there’s lots of it in the world. Spewing forth from the mouths of leaders, friends and enemies. You can smell it some of the time but other times, you barely know it’s there. Wade your way through it though. Know when to identify it and you should be fine. I know I’m working on it. And don’t worry honest but real people, I still give everyone the benefit of the doubt and will hopefully know you for who you really are. haha Trust me, if I really don’t want to bother with you, I won’t at all.