Solving For Boy

I’m not Taylor Swift but I felt like writing about boys.

The fact that they are so mysterious, stupid and simple all at once.

I’m not trying to be mean but that’s how I find them. All that and frustrating. It’s a wonder so many intelligent girls/women I know decide to put up with all the shenanigans. But then it’s not a wonder. Not to me.

I was raised on rom-coms and happily ever after, and although the world seems like a grim place right now (Trump, wars, economic stinkiness), I still believe that something genuinely amazing and awesome can happen if you believe and try to be the best person you can. Love is one of those things that I hope/think will happen for everyone. But I’m not talking about love, I’m talking about solving for idiots called boys.

People say that guys say what they mean and there isn’t much to read in-between. If a guy asks for your number, apparently all they want is your number. That doesn’t mean you should expect them to actually be interested in you or spend anytime with you. How dare you jump to such an awful conclusion! They just want the ability to call, anything else you dream up and think is your fault. I know when I ask for a person’s number, it’s so I can decide later on if I actually want to hang out with them. Never can have too many numbers on your phone. *sarcasm*

I mean, I do know girls are confusing too and can be psycho or dramatic but boys man, they’re just baffling.

Some guys who are baffling are actually nice though.

I believe deep down that they are genuinely nice people who just happen to also have conflicting intentions of being a “guy” (guy according to me – a male who is driven by sex, thoughts of nothing, hanging with their boys, and obsessed with some dumb sport and/or hobby). They try their best to be nice along the way to any girl that may peak their Mr.Willy Wonka by being a decent human (you know, not just grabbing at you immediately and taking the time to remember your name and a few facts about you) but they are still trying to satisfy a need on their time.

I guess the fact that a guy can be decent while still satiating their needs is confusing to me and all other girls. I feel like smart girls are naively suffering from deer in headlights syndrome whenever a guy is decent because let’s face it, today’s world feels full of game players and absolute creeps.

Me, I prefer a guy be outright and honest with me. If I know what I’m getting into, I’m less likely to drive myself insane trying to figure “it all out.” I’ll know that you just want a casual thing or that you want to be friends or that you want to be serious. I get it though, you don’t always know your true intentions at the beginning but once you do, why do you always work so hard to try to act like you don’t? There’s no need to pretend to be Mr.Nice Guy. Just do you and I’ll understand.

When life is already confusing enough in regards to career and finding yourself, do you really have to solve for boy too? I’d rather not but then maybe that’s the road you must travel down for life. I just hope solving for girl is as hard or harder. haha

That Time I Was Older Than Some People

I’ve just got back from a trip to Manchester (more on that to come in another blog post) but I felt the need to write about a recent thing I’ve been noticing on my travels and interactions with people. I’m no longer the youngest person around.

Me, I’ve never been a fan of my birthday. For many reasons, one of which being it is right on top of the Christmas holiday, but also because it means I’m growing older. I don’t despise getting older as that means I’m still living/alive but I don’t like being an adult. I don’t feel like adult and my appearance makes people less inclined to treat me as such (I’ve been told I look young so I’m glad for that).

Being an adult means responsibilities and new pressures I was naively unaware of until they fell in my lap. Fairy tale stories on how things should and would be aren’t really happening in the way I expected. These are things I find hard to swallow. I’m still in my twenties but there are things I have yet to accomplish or even experience and that puts me on edge.

But back to the point at hand, adulting. Recently I’ve noticed that whenever I gather with groups of people that I think are my age, I come to find that I’m three or four years older. I didn’t know what to do with this at first. I felt betrayed by my birth if that makes any sense.haha Should I be embarrassed? Should I act like I know it all? The answer was there was no real way to behave but I’ve started to feel less “upset” by the fact that I’m older.

I’m more aware of myself and what I want (though I still have not a clue what that is) and I do feel more capable of giving my opinion and feeling confident in it. I know that I’ve dealt with characters that have informed how I approach new situations in my life and it feels good to be more assured in this respect. Again, I’m still clueless about how my life will play out and if what I’m doing is really right but I do know that I can make a decision and follow through as there is nothing to lose.

What am I talking about really? Nothing and everything. Life is hard but you can figure it out. And don’t feel bad about being a little older than most, you’ve met more people that can help you deal with new experiences down the line.