October in London

It’s October of 2016! How in the world did that happen? I remember when the year just started and I was in NYC dreaming of all the things I would and could do this year.

Now I feel like 2017 is just around the corner and it’s just… wow. Not to mention, I’m still in London going through life trials and tribulations. Meeting new people who have been encouraging to me when they have no real reason to be (I’m a stranger), hard talks and realities thrown on me by people I’d never suspect (I’m not a stranger) and just running into random experiences and adventures through some unknown will I keep stumbling across. It’s still great. It’s still hard. It’s life.

In one way, time is running out. Well my London time is. I’ve extended my ticket and thought about the big life question that everyone ponders “what’s next?” I have a vague idea. Very foggy and vague I might add, but I’m still going to try for this idea. Part of what’s in that idea is figuring out how to make my European dreams come true. I mean, lots of great Europe things have happened but I believe in always striving for more.

Some amazing things I’ve done as fall set in on me in another country:

  • Assit in editing a video for a Walking Dead promo
  • Help out on a shoot for Ugg
  • Learn more about using software like Premiere and After Effects
  • Learn way more about marketing than I intended (Google Adwords, Mailchimp, Tweedtdeck, etc)
  • Meet incredible people in the London film and production industry with drive and passion as well as lovely social skills (haha)
  • Go to movies in London (simple pleasures)
  • Move into my own place and share with girls that are super nice
  • Make friends despite having a network or good everyday social setting to find them (it’s hard stuff, believe me)
  • Go to a random concert, clubs, bakeries, book store, play
  • Travel to some new cities in Europe
  • Shop a little and grab some cute pieces (even if it hasn’t been warm enough to wear them)
  • Discover things about my self and what I can improve

That’s just a small bit of the list but there are plenty of things, including bad, that have in the end helped me to have a better understanding about what I want. I know that may be a selfish statement and it is, but it’s also not in some ways (learning more about how I want to treat others vs how people treat(ed) me is one way in wish it’s more people friendly).

I’m glad to be here, in London in October. I do admit I wasn’t sure if that would happen but I’ve been making it since June. If only I could find a way to make it last for as long as I chose. I mean, maybe I can and will stumble into that situation but overall I’m just glad… and grateful.

So yeah, that’s just a bit of my thoughts on making it to London and living here. It’s been crazy but I don’t regret even in my weak moments of disappointment and negativity.

 

That Time I Was Older Than Some People

I’ve just got back from a trip to Manchester (more on that to come in another blog post) but I felt the need to write about a recent thing I’ve been noticing on my travels and interactions with people. I’m no longer the youngest person around.

Me, I’ve never been a fan of my birthday. For many reasons, one of which being it is right on top of the Christmas holiday, but also because it means I’m growing older. I don’t despise getting older as that means I’m still living/alive but I don’t like being an adult. I don’t feel like adult and my appearance makes people less inclined to treat me as such (I’ve been told I look young so I’m glad for that).

Being an adult means responsibilities and new pressures I was naively unaware of until they fell in my lap. Fairy tale stories on how things should and would be aren’t really happening in the way I expected. These are things I find hard to swallow. I’m still in my twenties but there are things I have yet to accomplish or even experience and that puts me on edge.

But back to the point at hand, adulting. Recently I’ve noticed that whenever I gather with groups of people that I think are my age, I come to find that I’m three or four years older. I didn’t know what to do with this at first. I felt betrayed by my birth if that makes any sense.haha Should I be embarrassed? Should I act like I know it all? The answer was there was no real way to behave but I’ve started to feel less “upset” by the fact that I’m older.

I’m more aware of myself and what I want (though I still have not a clue what that is) and I do feel more capable of giving my opinion and feeling confident in it. I know that I’ve dealt with characters that have informed how I approach new situations in my life and it feels good to be more assured in this respect. Again, I’m still clueless about how my life will play out and if what I’m doing is really right but I do know that I can make a decision and follow through as there is nothing to lose.

What am I talking about really? Nothing and everything. Life is hard but you can figure it out. And don’t feel bad about being a little older than most, you’ve met more people that can help you deal with new experiences down the line.